How to Succeed in Business | The Jack Donaghy Way

For seven seasons, 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy has reigned as prime time’s leading business titan. His mind grapes’ sweetest juice:

Don’t take any business tactic off the table: “Sometimes sexual bartering works. Salome, Mata Hari, Deborah Norville.”

Control your bodily urges: “I only pass gas once a year, for an hour, atop a mountain in Switzerland.”

Give assistants clear guidelines: “You’ll do fine as long as you follow my three Ds — discretion, docility, and don’t use my bathroom.”

Be merciless: “Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?”

And always remember: “Never go with a hippie to a second location.”

Aspire to greatness: “Making it through a full 24 hours without a single misstep is called ‘Reaganing.’ The only other people who’ve ever done it: Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and — no judgment — Saddam Hussein.”

Take personal grooming seriously: “I get my hair cut every two days. After all, your hair is your headsuit.”


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