NOT SO MIGHTY

Six pens you shouldn’t be seen with at the office

1. Four-Color Pen

Its buttons invite fiddling and clicking, unwelcome additions to boardroom meetings. Also: Who has ever needed green?

2. Squiggle Wiggle Writer

This wide-bodied atrocity has a motorized stylus and a moving tip for drawing. Perfect for doodling on pink slips.

3. Invisible Ink Pen

Would you ever really try to pass along a secret message to a colleague on paper in an age of smartphones?

4. Space Pen

In the 1960s, Fisher Space Pen invested $1 million creating a pen that works in zero gravity. You’ll be fine with a pencil.

5. Chaos Pen

Designed by Sylvester Stallone, studded with skulls, and costing $5,000, the Chaos is the Mike Tyson face tattoo of pens.

6. Mortimer Ichabod Marker

We’re sorry to reveal that the noises it emitted when Bill Cosby used it in Picture Pages were sound effects.

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