All Brands on Deck!

The 100th anniversary of the R.M.S. Titanic’s tragic maiden voyage has inspired a legion of opportunists and profiteers.

By Spencer Bailey

TITANIC: FR BROWNE SJ COLLECTION/UIG/BRIDGEMAN ART LIBRARY; 3D GLASSES: MACIEJ TOPOROWICZ/GETTY IMAGES; DOLLY PARTON: ROBYN BECK/GETTY IMAGES

ANNOYING

Titanic lifesaver wall décor, $99 No discount for women and children

Acme’s sterling silver replica of Titanic whistle, $144.98 Perfect for locating fellow survivors

Titanic-opoly, $44 Avoid the ice field in this nautical version of Monopoly

Kikkerland’s Titanic shower curtain, $19.50 Add a little drama to your ablutions

Vinolia Titanic bath soap, $6.99 The same brand they had onboard in 1912

The New York Times’ Titanic 100th-anniversary box, $189 Comes with coins from the wreckage and copies of Times front pages

ALARMING

Titanic coal presentation box, $29.99 A lump of fuel from the ocean floor

Woodmere Titanic teacup and saucer, $55 Spiff up your kitchen cabinets, Astor-style

First-Class Titanic maid anniversary doll, $14.99 Tragedy never looked so huggable

Desktop Titanic, $6.95 A kit full of workplace tips, for those drowning in work

All Fours on Deck: Sex Diaries from the Titanic (e-book), $3.54 Find out what’s really rocking the boat

Titanic aquarium ornament, $12.99 Teach your pet fish about the disaster with this bubbler

APOCALYPTIC

Gin and Titonic ice cube tray, $7.49 A tasteful “cocktail party icebreaker”

Guernsey’s April 1 auction of 5,000 Titanic items Salvaged pieces worth an estimated $189 million

Titanic: the re-release Watch James Cameron rake in millions again, through limited-edition 3D glasses

Titanic II, $14.99 The straight-to-DVD tale of a berg-bound Titanic memorial cruise

“A Night to Remember,” $21.38 Tribute concerts headlined by Dolly Parton

Titanic Memorial Cruises, from $4,900 Two fate-tempting transatlantic journeys

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