The Machines Are Taking Over

Whole professions are being outmoded by new technologies. So how do you take your job skills into the future?

ILLUSTRATION BY LUKE MCGARRY

If you’re a bank teller

You have dependability and a facility with high-volume numbers

Online bookie

Identity thief

StubHub.com ticket reseller

If you’re a travel agent

You have personal relationships with travel companies and a love of travel

CouchSurfing.com/HomeExchange.com/Airbnb.com admin

Resort bartender

If you’re a Wells Fargo armored truck driver

You have driving experience and the ability to lift heavy objects

Wheelman to a superhero villain

Driver for private military contractor

Professional video game athlete

If you’re a mortgage broker

You have people skills, negotiation skills, and a love of real estate

EBay reseller

Co-op board head

Building superintendent

Artisanal vegetable pickler

If you’re a record store clerk

You have arrogance and cultish loyalty

TV pundit

Another f---ing blogger

Apple Genius

If you’re a bookseller

You have encyclopedic knowledge and a love of paper and words

Recycling-center employee

Wikipedian (Volunteer Wikipedia editor)

Another f---ing blogger

If you’re an auctioneer

You’re a fast talker

Pharmaceutical ad voice-over actor specializing in disclaimers

Political ad voice-over actor

Bangalore call center instructor

If you’re a postal worker

You have an even temperament and an imperviousness to dogs

Yoga instructor

Dog psychologist

Dog sitter

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